Me and my fellas were having a nice time and laughing a lot while I tried to create "lechugariguana" by planting lettuce and my little shoots together. Eventually, Oct. arrived to our cave in order to maintain total control of the world. My imprudent friends, scared by his presence, immediately explain what I was up to, stupidity that resulted in Oct. attacking my beautiful plants. He destroyed them all.
After he completed such an abominable endeavor I attempted to make the most of the situation; nothing but threatening came to my mind: Since the sprouts were not yet visually differentiated, and considering that in the under-and-but-parallel world (UABPW) there were no DNA analyses yet, I simply said that I wasn't guilty of anything and that I could easily prove my innocence, and that I will counterattack with the whole legal machinery (in the UABPW there wasn't any, hehehe, poor Oct.) if I was not compensated. Oct., now fearing a tremendous revenge, asked how he could repair the damaged caused by his premature actions, and I begun my petition by saying "Well... I've heard you're famous here because of your vast lands..."
Obtuve tantas tierras como pude pedir y como el UABPW pudo alojar. Siendo el UABPW esto no podía ser demasiado, pero bastó para sembrar algunas hortalizas y un apple tree, which was the sensation of the town once it dio sus primeros frutos. Inspirado por el repentino éxito y la fama, y sobre todo por el dinero que desde luego acompañó a ambas, comencé a desarrollar mi única e inigualable técnica hidropónica que a la larga me permitió obtener total provecho del mísero cacho de tierra hurtado a Oct. y convertirme en el nuevo amo y señor del UABPW.
I was a god damned eccentric, you could say. Every day I used to walk the UABPW to say hello to every single person that crossed in my way, and it was also common to engage in stupid arguments with perfect strangers without gettin' killed in such a dangerous enterprise... I remember the day I met the PIXAR executive and he ended up liking me even though initially he was about to kick my ass.
So the play time had just ended and the gorgeous girl came to pick up the controls, the game cards, and that kind of stuff. I was sitting at the end of the table, waiting for an opportunity to stole one control or two, when this guy and his two companions arrived.
The guy
-Excuse me mam', may I have a napkin?
(The napkins were placed right in front of him... fucking asshole.)
Me
-Here.
-Thank you, but I'd like the miss to respond.
("The miss" was so concentrated in counting the money that never turned to us.)
-She's not hearing, take the napkin. (And I put some by his hand.)
-Miss? Miss?
-Told ya.
(Se volteó hacia las chicas y les regaló un botón de PIXAR. Ellas rieron, y yo me di cuenta que tenía que ver con PIXAR. Dejó de ser un maldito cerdo en ese instante.)
-Oh! So you work for PIXAR. Tell me about it!
(He realized that the roles had changed and tried to show some indifference to handle the situation, but soon he understood the serious mistake he had commited.)
-Miss? I want a napkin. Girls... I don't know what to say... I...
-Here, hundred of napkins for you! Now tell me about PIXAR!!
-Miss... may I ask you a question?
-If it's about PIXAR I can answer!
-...do you?
-Sure! I know the whole story!
-Okey, then tell me... when did Lasseter came for the first time to California?
-Emmm... it was on June...
-...aha...
-...the third...
-...aha...
-1973!
-Aha!
-Is it correct?
-No.
-Hahahaha! You're right!! But why?
-Because by 1973 PIXAR didn't...
-...didn't exist!! Of course! Hahahaha!!!
-This guy... it's like me doing... and you laughing... and he...
Y yo para entonces en el suelo botado de la risa al ver las imitaciones tan lastimeras con las que aquellos dos intentaban molestarme. Jajaja. Y a cada cosa que uno decía y que el otro contestaba, más risas, y después carcajadas. Fue tanto el chiste que encontré en aquella conversación estúpida que me desperté riéndome todavía, y entre regresar por completo del UABPW y echar una mirada atrás antes de abandonarlo por completo, seguía viendo y retorciéndome de la alegría.
Finally the money-counting-miss gave three napkins al señor, which a su vez las repartió a sus dos companions. I, más desde acá que allá, alcancé a murmurar: "I would have given you better napkins..." y solté una carcajada que hasta atrajo la atención de mis roommates.
After he completed such an abominable endeavor I attempted to make the most of the situation; nothing but threatening came to my mind: Since the sprouts were not yet visually differentiated, and considering that in the under-and-but-parallel world (UABPW) there were no DNA analyses yet, I simply said that I wasn't guilty of anything and that I could easily prove my innocence, and that I will counterattack with the whole legal machinery (in the UABPW there wasn't any, hehehe, poor Oct.) if I was not compensated. Oct., now fearing a tremendous revenge, asked how he could repair the damaged caused by his premature actions, and I begun my petition by saying "Well... I've heard you're famous here because of your vast lands..."
Obtuve tantas tierras como pude pedir y como el UABPW pudo alojar. Siendo el UABPW esto no podía ser demasiado, pero bastó para sembrar algunas hortalizas y un apple tree, which was the sensation of the town once it dio sus primeros frutos. Inspirado por el repentino éxito y la fama, y sobre todo por el dinero que desde luego acompañó a ambas, comencé a desarrollar mi única e inigualable técnica hidropónica que a la larga me permitió obtener total provecho del mísero cacho de tierra hurtado a Oct. y convertirme en el nuevo amo y señor del UABPW.
I was a god damned eccentric, you could say. Every day I used to walk the UABPW to say hello to every single person that crossed in my way, and it was also common to engage in stupid arguments with perfect strangers without gettin' killed in such a dangerous enterprise... I remember the day I met the PIXAR executive and he ended up liking me even though initially he was about to kick my ass.
So the play time had just ended and the gorgeous girl came to pick up the controls, the game cards, and that kind of stuff. I was sitting at the end of the table, waiting for an opportunity to stole one control or two, when this guy and his two companions arrived.
The guy
-Excuse me mam', may I have a napkin?
(The napkins were placed right in front of him... fucking asshole.)
Me
-Here.
-Thank you, but I'd like the miss to respond.
("The miss" was so concentrated in counting the money that never turned to us.)
-She's not hearing, take the napkin. (And I put some by his hand.)
-Miss? Miss?
-Told ya.
(Se volteó hacia las chicas y les regaló un botón de PIXAR. Ellas rieron, y yo me di cuenta que tenía que ver con PIXAR. Dejó de ser un maldito cerdo en ese instante.)
-Oh! So you work for PIXAR. Tell me about it!
(He realized that the roles had changed and tried to show some indifference to handle the situation, but soon he understood the serious mistake he had commited.)
-Miss? I want a napkin. Girls... I don't know what to say... I...
-Here, hundred of napkins for you! Now tell me about PIXAR!!
-Miss... may I ask you a question?
-If it's about PIXAR I can answer!
-...do you?
-Sure! I know the whole story!
-Okey, then tell me... when did Lasseter came for the first time to California?
-Emmm... it was on June...
-...aha...
-...the third...
-...aha...
-1973!
-Aha!
-Is it correct?
-No.
-Hahahaha! You're right!! But why?
-Because by 1973 PIXAR didn't...
-...didn't exist!! Of course! Hahahaha!!!
-This guy... it's like me doing... and you laughing... and he...
Y yo para entonces en el suelo botado de la risa al ver las imitaciones tan lastimeras con las que aquellos dos intentaban molestarme. Jajaja. Y a cada cosa que uno decía y que el otro contestaba, más risas, y después carcajadas. Fue tanto el chiste que encontré en aquella conversación estúpida que me desperté riéndome todavía, y entre regresar por completo del UABPW y echar una mirada atrás antes de abandonarlo por completo, seguía viendo y retorciéndome de la alegría.
Finally the money-counting-miss gave three napkins al señor, which a su vez las repartió a sus dos companions. I, más desde acá que allá, alcancé a murmurar: "I would have given you better napkins..." y solté una carcajada que hasta atrajo la atención de mis roommates.
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